Postcards from planet hell

Hi All,

so...here we are at the end of the semester and nothing good is happening. my statistics class is driving me crazy!!! I have no chance of passing even if I hand in my homework and study because I need a 75 on the final to pass and that would take a minor miracle. maybe I was just not meant to ever graduate....I don't even know anymore. I did not spend 4 years of my life in college just to be held back by fucking math. ( yes I am using the f word....get over it folks).
In all this chaos, my poor history class has basically been pushed to the background. I HATE SCHOOL right now. stupid fucking math disability....why can't my brain just work like everyone elses for a a change? When I do try to ask questions in class or answer questions, I get laughed at for getting things wrong. I thought bullying ended in grade school but I guess I am wrong.

In other news, I am having trouble figuring out the creature known as the " normal or neurotypical person". It's sad that everyone is too busy and too involved in themselves and their own lives to care about their family members. It is not that hard to pick up the phone or even send a message on Facebook to just keep in touch. life is too short to treat your family members this way. don't miss out on people's lives.....you never know how long they'll be around and when you do think to pick up the phone, it might be too late. Family is everything....I wish my family understood that.

I don't know....maybe I am desperate for any and all connections. I am an only child ( not by choice) and have no other family here besides mom, dad and aunt and her family. I want to have a big loving family where everyone always has time for everyone and where keeping in touch with family is not considered a time-consuming chore but a privalege. If any of my family members are reading this ( which I sincerely doubt), I'd like to say this to them: I really miss you guys and for those who I don't know well and you know who you are, I'd like to get to know you better. just because we are busy and live far apart is no exuse for not keeping in touch or making time for one another. It should not take a wedding or god-forbid a funeral, for everyone to see each other. let's make time for one another. heard of a family reunion....I think it would be a great thing for us. Life is short and family is everything.
as W.H Auden and Morrie mentioned in Tuesdays with morrie.. " love each other or perish" .

and that's the view from here.